As I sit here behind my cubicle, looking out at the heavy winter storm that’s been raging for the last 10 days, I’m left wondering can I do this? Can I make it through the Sierras if I get caught in a storm like this? That’s assuming I can make it 700 miles through the Mojave Desert. I know so little about wilderness survival. My mind turns to the silly thought of trying to slice through a Tantan with a lightsaber in order to keep warm. If all else fails, the Revenant has taught me how to use a horse to keep warm. Although scary/sad/negative/etc. thoughts randomly pop in my mind from time to time, I would rarely entertain them in the past instead pushing away to happy thoughts of fields of flowers or a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Unfortunately, avoidance is no longer a coping mechanism I can use if I want to be able to share openly on this blog. I have to be willing and able to recognize my feelings. Maybe I’ll return to a previous crutch I’ve used in so much of my life. The dreadful thought of disappointing everyone I’ve told about this trek. The thought of not living up to my own expectations. If that doesn’t motivate me, nothing will. Hopefully that will carry me through my third day of PCT training with drill master Tucker. It better, ‘cuz today is leg day and I already hurt all over.